In this post, you’ll face a joyous compendium of opinions and my personal vision of Chaos, my favorite army, so to start:
Why I decided to become a Chaos’ worshipper?
Answer: Easy. Chaos rulz
Now, something more reasoned, with a meticulous dissection of Warhammer armies:
+ Empire: softies, except the war chariot, steam tank, knights of the White Wolf, Karl Franz, Ludwig Schwarzhelm … and the Grand Theogonist and flagellants what? Those guys are chaotic, come on, please. One worships a magical giant bird with angry dog face (Tzeentch-Khorne?) while the others go with chains and spikes…please. The fact is that the Empire has very cool things, but I refused to have an army with all equal miniatures, love metal, and plastic seemed boring and repetitive, besides needs too many guys to play.
+ Elves: pussies…minus the old metal Teclis, but it’ll get you, Tzeentch wants you in my army…)
+ Wood Elves: pussies too…though the dancers will end as Chaotic unarmored barbarians elves at my service…someday
+ Dark Elves: to me, they are Chaos, so that’s ok XD
[In fact I liked them so much that long time ago I started one division/allied army to my former Chaos army, that becames a little detachment, nothing serious: one male sorcerer, one assassin, 4 Witch Elves and 10 warriors with sword & shield, and many years later a pair of executioners and one new knight on Cold.
But Still bite me the background of his chaoticity (Elvish civil war it’s ok, but I always believe that the Chaos attractive lies in being the antithesis, not evil in itself, but releaser of the inner beast, and carried away by the excesses, corruption … and it affects all races, avoiding the fact that your mother plays with Dark Magic and your Edipo’s complex makes you stupid…in a fast explanation to the mess)]
+Dwarfs: I liked the Dwarfs. Shit, I liked too despite being good-natured. Even its mini detachment is now larger than the Dark Elves one, with gyrocopter included.
But I’m slowly corrupting them: now the slayers are joining my two-hands armed barbarians…step by step, Chaos embraces all
+Chaos Dwarfs: They aren’t at my range when others do. I have no one, not even plastic, and I am old enough to had them, so let me mourn in peace. Until I get the ones I want, of course. Mesopotamian look, centaurs … nothing more to say.
+ Green Skins: Remember Empire topic about numbers? Well, Green Skins are worst.
Need even more people. And look that fans, cabalgalobos, riders boar, giant … scrawl! That does not mean they cannot go with Chaos, who can do everything and keeps everything. Today, they got a little presence on my army: the Confrontation’s musician with horn and one goblin sorcerer from Chronopia. But the sorcerer’s mount is one twisted giant lovecraftian wasp-dragonfly with stinger and tentacles …can you see it? Cool = Chaos
Oh, and they are one of my little brother’s armies. By the way, about the Green Skins and younger siblings, it’s common combo in our hobby. Got one good theory about it, simply & clear: our little siblings come into contact at young age with roleplaying stereotypes and (black)humor sense of the fantastic beings, and especially in Games Workshop, (old) orcs and goblins are funny and joyful, as well the closest to David Bowie’s Labyrinth goblins that could be found at that time. The result are evident.
+ Undead: second assault to background. And this one I founded clear at eight years old, without knowing the Realm of Chaos or the old editions. Let’s take a look on it. Chaos is pure Dark Magic. The Undead rises with Dark Magic. Ergo if I play Chaos, I can take any Undead being into my army. And that’s all.
This is a game, and the best of it is the background, and the background screams about Chaos ruling all evil, any questions?
And yes, my army got Heroquest’s zombies, mummies and skeletons. And a pair of Confrontation’s Undead. They have spent many winters with me & they deserve it.
+ Mercenaries: they didn’t exist at Fourth Edition as an army. But there are a pair of reknown regiments that…
Well, okay, Confrontation werewolfs are the best, but Beorg Bearstruck and Young Oerl have a little place in my heart. And someday the’ll be mine. As there is life, there is hope, heh, heh, heh…
+ Bretonnia: good-natured (bleurgh), not an option at Fourth Edition (when I started) and they ended up being another of my little brother’s armies. Yes, I don’t see the Green Skins connection too…
+ Lizzardmen: even more good-natured, were not developed when I started (the Slann are nearly inexistent at Fourth Edition)
But i like dinosaurs as mounts, for sure, I’ll take a pair, thanks!
+ Ogre Kingdoms: not even exist when I started. And I have the BattleMaster’s ogres and one of its extensions, and a couple more that recruted on the road. And Chaos allows to carry more monsters than only ogres…
+ CHAOS: IN CAPITAL LETTERS. Never cheap -not many models needed-, the best fighters -on old times, one basic Chaos Warrior got the Human general stats, except wounds & attacks…
And most important, it was an army of beastmen, Conan’s bad guys, ogres, trolls, demons, dragons, mutants and give almost anything you could dream. Can’t ask for more.
Well, hope you enjoy my chatter, but I think that’s enough for today.
See you at battle!